18 Mar

The sun is out later and the weather is getting warmer, which can only mean one thing: wedding season is fast approaching. And while I love love, I also unfortunately love drama. So when Redditor u/morrgannicole asked the r/AskReddit community to share the worst thing they've seen at a wedding, I was ready to dive in. Here are the wild stories people had to share.

"It was an overcast day, and had rained earlier, but the weather was clearing up. The bride and groom went to take some photos after the ceremony. An unsupervised kid, probably six or seven years old, ran up to a puddle the bride was carefully walking past and jumped in it. Her dress had mud splatter all the way up to her shoulder. I felt so bad for her."

"I used to be a wedding registrar. I conducted one wedding where the bride’s father had passed away the year before. The ceremony was held outside in a venue’s walled garden. Upon entering the garden to take their seats, the guests were met by a skeleton dressed up in the bride’s father's clothes and were asked to shake his hand!”

"Outdoor wedding. The bride gently fed the wedding cake to her new husband. The groom shoved cake at his new bride's face so hard that it broke one of her teeth. He kept pushing her until she tripped and fell over backward. She broke her wrist when she tried to stop the fall, and there was blood dripping from her mouth. The groom's father then began to beat the living shit out of his own son."

"Outdoor summer wedding in Texas. The groom's 90-plus-year-old grandmother died during the reception. They found out when she couldn't be roused for family pictures."

"My boyfriend's oldest brother's wedding. One of his mates got plastered, lost control of his bowels, and shat himself. In a kilt. Picture the scene: On a dancefloor at a working man's club in Glasgow, a drunken 40-something is standing by himself in an ever-expanding circle of people looking at him in horror while an equally expanding puddle of shit gathers on the floor. On his calves. On his shoes."

"When the shit began to hit the floor, the groom looked over, saw what was happening, and shouted, 'For fuck's sake, Mick, get to the fucking toilet!' The drunken shitter wailed back, 'Ah canny move! It's coming out too fast!' My boyfriend compared it to watching a cow laying out a cow-pat.”

"Went to a wedding where everything went well. Got to the reception and the alcohol was flowing. My husband and I drank and got on the dance floor. The groom's side was very proper while the bride's was quite the opposite. Everyone is dancing when all of a sudden the cousin of the bride grabs the mic and says, 'This song is dedicated to your wedding night.' He motions for everyone to clear the dance floor and cues the DJ. Madonna’s 'Justify My Love' starts playing as the cousin starts crawling and rolling on the floor while lip-syncing. It was easily the most awkward moment while everyone stood there watching his overly sexual performance. The song finally ends and it’s dead silence. I will never forget this moment."

"At the afterparty, the groom spent the whole night watching a basketball game on TV at the bar. Couldn't even be bothered to turn around and say 'hi' to any of the guests. He just sat at the bar, eyes fixed on the TV the whole time. When it was time for him to make a speech, he just said, 'You know, this was supposed to be a special day, but [my team] lost, so I fucking hate it! Fuck all of you! This sucks!' Needless to say, that marriage lasted all of a week or two."

”The bride's grandfather died while she was walking down the aisle. The ambulance was there in less than five minutes but the paramedics called it after resuscitation failed. They removed the body and, after a brief period of consultation and people pulling themselves together, the wedding ceremony went ahead. No exaggeration, the time between Granddad hitting the floor and the ceremony restarting was less than 45 minutes. I did not attend the reception, but I heard from others that it was a rager.”

“The bride used old film strips from movie edits/cast-offs for decor in the table centerpieces. Flowers and film strips at a quirky fun wedding, looked great, right? She had picked up the box for free and didn’t really look at it. Some of the strips were from schlocky sci-fi nonsense. Most of them were porn."

"My sister-in-law told us about a wedding she was at where the bride and the groom’s mother did not get along. The groom was a workmate of my SIL's husband, and all the work friends knew there was some tension between the two but did not expect anything to happen. The ceremony went off OK. The groom’s mother gave a few killing looks, but nothing was said.""At the reception, she started drinking and making comments to her relatives and friends, loud enough for other people and the bride to hear. The groom spoke to her and she quieted down. During the toasts, she made loud noises every time the bride's name was said, but she was mostly ignored. She kept drinking and moving around, talking to different people while the dancing was on.She was sitting at a different table when the bridesmaids brought around pieces of the wedding cake. She told them she didn’t want any. The bridesmaid said she would just leave some on the table for the people sitting there and put some on the table.The groom’s mother shouted, 'I told you I don’t want any fucking wedding cake!' and swept the pieces of cake off the table with the back of her hand. The cake landed on the chief bridesmaid, who shouted back. The groom’s mother jumped up, slapped the bridesmaid, and others joined in defending their chosen side.The groom and his best man stopped the music, stopped the brawling, and split everyone up. Then he said, 'That’s it. The wedding's over. Thank you all for coming. And Mom, I never want to see you again.' He then grabbed the bride by the hand and walked out. My SIL's husband decided it was time for them to leave in case things kicked off again."

"Wedding in upstate Georgia. During the vows the groom was so nervous he threw up — and I mean projectile puked — all over his bride, the maid of honor, and the preacher. They still laugh about it to this day, but it was pretty bad at the time. It was my wife's niece. She handled it with grace. We have it on tape and we pull it out during their yearly anniversary party.

"The groom showed up an hour late and his tux did not fit him at all. The bride and groom's toddler son was also playing with a toy truck around the feet of the bridal party during the ceremony. At one point, he lifts the toy truck and slams it into the shin of one of the bridesmaids, drawing blood, and interrupting the proceedings for a good 10 minutes. Not to be outdone, the groom starts to look unwell. He passes out, falling down a small set of stairs. Upon regaining consciousness, he runs out of the small church out the back. Ten minutes go by, then 20. He returns with his tux shirt pulled out, unbuttoned, and wide open. He returns to the bride, and they finish the ceremony with him like that."—u/flat513."Wedding of a guy I worked with. At the reception, a friend of the groom decided this was the time he wanted to pronounce his love for his friend's new bride by saying he wanted to eat her 'you-know-what.' A fight broke out, and the groom and his friend went to jail."

"A friend of mine caused some drama at her own wedding because she wasn't drinking champagne. A bunch of the older ladies on her side of the family noticed and decided the only possible explanation was that she was hiding a pregnancy. They started pointing it out to anyone who would listen, even going so far as to say they saw 'a little bump' under her dress.""I guess these family members weren't close enough to the couple to know two very important details: 1) The bride is a recovering alcoholic. She doesn't drink, ever. Not even at her own wedding; 2) The bride and groom had been trying to get pregnant for probably two years at that point and were starting to be resigned to the fact that they wouldn't be able to have kids."—u/jimtow2815."Went to a wedding, and they ran out of food for the last two tables. We had to order pizza delivery and the bride’s family didn’t offer to pay."

“My friend's wedding. His mother had a lot of mental health and addiction issues and he was already iffy about inviting her, but his beautiful kind bride didn't want him to ever have any regrets about not having his mother there. She showed up 25 minutes late. They had announced not to get in the way of photographers during the ceremony and to try not to have your phone in the way. Well, she pulled out the biggest goddamn iPad I've ever seen in my life and blocked a videographer for a while.""Then when they got to the part of the ceremony where they were going to do the sand thing where you combine the two things of sand in a jar, she got up, pulling a giant Ziploc bag of rice from her huge purse, and just baseball pitched it right into everyone's face. I'm talking hard. Shrapnel.His sister looked just about ready to murder her. The bride and groom looked like they both disassociated and left their bodies while everybody else gasped audibly. Finally, another family member got up and very quickly ushered her away. Everyone was slipping and sliding on the way back down the aisle because there was so much rice all over the ground.We laugh now but it was the most batshit crazy thing I've ever seen at a formal event."

"Back in the '90s, I was in the band at a wedding with two big Irish families. During the cake cutting, the groom grabbed the bride's head and SLAMMED her face in the plate of cake (it’s never cute or funny, but this was hard and mean). She was ruined and crying. Her father walked up and cold-cocked the groom with a one-punch knockout. The groom's father then charged and started fighting with the bride's father. The whole place erupted after that."

"They sort of sat each family on opposite sides of the dance floor and within seconds 50 people were beating the hell out of each other on the dance floor. I saw a middle-aged woman in a formal dress jump on a man’s back and choke him to the ground.There was extreme violence for about three to five minutes, then it just stopped and everyone went back to their tables and started eating dessert.No shit, five minutes later we played the electric slide, and the dance floor was full."

"The maid of honor had sex with the bride's father in the groomsmen's bathroom. They were both married. Not to each other. Awkward."—u/Sea_Jelly_654119."The bride was struggling with nerves so the bridesmaids kept giving her shots. She was too drunk to walk down the aisle and wasn't at the reception because she threw up on the dress."

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